Less Than 2 Months

I returned home from Church Camp today, and I am preparing to actually accept that I am going to be leaving. I have purchased my plane ticket, sent my passport away to be turned into a Visa, and dropped all my classes from Sonoma. I have so much that I have to get done before I leave, and I still want to be able to spend time with all my friends in the Bay Area, take a trip up to Rohnert Park to see some people up there, and my family is planning a trip for the first part of August. I am also babysitting and have my little part time job. It is all manageable, but I like to stress myself out.

Camp was amazing, but it is just going to make it that much harder to say goodbye. Denmark is going to be a chance of a lifetime, and it is so perfect for me, but I am starting to get cold feet just a little bit. I am very comfortable here, and I enjoy having high-maintenance relationships with people. I am afraid that while I am gone I will lose everyone that I have worked so hard to be close to. I think that I am still in a little bit of denial, everything will work out. Everything happens for a reason. If my relationships can withstand the time and the distance apart then I will know that I have life-long friends.

I got really sun burned yesterday and my mother told me to enjoy it now because I won't be seeing the sun very much next year.

Alternate to Accepted

Last summer Michelle and I were sitting in my car outside of I<3Yogurt and I declared that I thought God was sending me to Denmark. We laughed, but I was serious. All of high school I was so set on getting back to Australia that I was blinded by the fact that Denmark was calling my name. Everything about Denmark just seems so perfect for me, and I was convinced in my new "mission from God" sort of mindset that Kathrine had been some sort of personal awakening for me to see what I really wanted to do with my life, and how I can really help people. I am currently a Human Development major with 2 minors, one in Psychology and one in Early Childhood Education. The program at the Danish Institute of Study Abroad (henceforth referred to as DIS) is a Child Development and Psychology program. So perfect. The snag in my plan though was that California would choose this past school year to go completely broke, cutting a huge portion of the study abroad program and changing Denmark from a walk on program to one of the most competitive in the system. I worked my butt off and in February got my letter that said my least favorite word ever, "Alternate". The past 4 months have been an emotional roller coaster with me distancing myself as much as possible from Denmark while still filling out all the paperwork and having to think about the trip almost every day. On the 15th of June I got a voicemail from CSU International Programs. I called and they told me that no one had dropped from the Denmark program this year. My heart dropped as every last ounce of hope I had faded, but the lady on the other line then went on to tell me that because my recommendations were so good and I was so dedicated as an alternate, that they were going to find the money and let me go anyways! I am ecstatic, although I keep going through waves of sheer joy and then intense panic that I am not ready. Everyone else has already had 4 1/2 months to prepare, I have 2. Ready GO!