It was all going much to smoothly to be my life.

I was an alternate. As an alternate I was advised to not sign up for housing in Denmark. I did anyways because I wanted to have good housing. Apparently, I was still too late. They thought they were going to be able to get a host family for me, so they did not place me in my second or third choices. They could not get a host family for me. Now my second and third housing choices are also full. I am now in Shared DIS Housing. Which means no interaction with Danes, no Danish traditions, no Danish food, no real Danish lifestyle experience. Shared DIS Housing is the only housing option I was opposed to because it basically sounds like it is for people who do not want to actually be in Denmark. I really wanted a family, more then anything I wanted a Danish family. I got this news at work, I cried. What is going to happen to me during Christmas? Where will I go? So many of my plans revolved around having a family experience. I know that as a person I am not going to function as well in this situation. I am going to spend time with Danes, not to live in pseudo-America. I can switch to a host family at second semester, but it is not the same as having someone to welcome me in my first months of confusion and culture shock. I am just being a brat, the experience will still be amazing, I am just completely disappointed and crushed right now. Let us please hope that I look back at this post in 3 months and laugh because DIS Shared Housing has been the best thing ever.

Opholdstilladelse!

I received my Visa in the mail today! It is all in Danish and very exciting. It is titled "Opholdstilladelse" which directly translated means "resident". Heck yes! A resident of Denmark!

Forget all my worries, all I have to do now is get on a plane and I am good.

Pre-Denmark Drama

I have had a pretty ridiculous week, and it seems like all the ridiculous-ness is based around Denmark. I know that by taking this year away I am basically signing up to change every relationship I have. I will not see people from Sonoma for a year and even if we try to keep in touch it is different then living with them. The few friends I have at home I am very close to, and see on a regular basis and talk to frequently. At Sonoma I still come home about once a month, and at least every 2, so I think that dynamics with my parents will change. This will be the first time I will be spending the holidays away from home, and I think it will be a wake-up call that I really can survive without holding their hands.

The apprehension of my departure is turning everyone crazy. I am trying to squeeze in every last person in my life before I leave, but then I want to spend as much time with my best friends and my family as possible. All of this on top of the fact that I am leaving in less then a month and still have SO much left to do. I think I may be in a little bit of denial still, that I think that everything will be able to be the same when I return, but I know that I will be a totally different person. Each year I change so much anyways, and that is while I have been surrounded by the familiar in my comfort zone.

I want to maintain the friendships that I have but as The Sims always taught me "friendships are like flowers" (or something like that) and need to be tended in order to remain. I also want to fully immerse myself in my new Danish life because it will only be there for such a short period of time. I do not want to be the naive girl who is too attached to her friends in America and makes herself homesick. I think I will be fine. I am a true believer that if a friendship is genuine it can overcome almost anything, but there is still the lingering fear that while I am away I will be completely forgotten. I will just have to work out the balance. I will have an amazing time over there and I will make new friends, I just hope that I will have someone to come home to.

EDIT: Right after I published this post the song "Your Friends are Gone" by Circa Survive came on shuffle on my itunes. Bad omen or my computer mocking me? I cannot tell but I am a little concerned...

Weather Woes

Can anyone else please be concerned with me that this is the weather in Denmark right now?

I finally received my Pre-Departure packet from DIS. It is full of useful and scary things, like that out of 365 days it on average rains for 171 of them. That is almost HALF. And I will be missing the sunny months of summer that only rain for a little over a third of the time, which means that the months I am there are the ones that compensate for the "dry" season. I also learned great things like there are 39 hours of sunlight in January. The entire month. I know that I am going to be out of my comfort zone, and I am very excited to actually get to spend time in snow, but this seems a little extreme. The dreary weather encourages Danish Hygge though, which I have been told repeatedly is a part of Danish life. Loosely translated "hygge" means "cozy" or "warm", but there is no way in English to explain exactly what it is. Heck, I do not even really know what it is. All I know is that it is amazing and encouraged by gloomy weather that makes you want to stay inside. I tell you, if hygge has cuddling involved, I am SO in. Oh, I also know how to say "Tak for i aften, det var hyggeligt!" which means "Thank you for the evening, it was hyggelight!" which is a very high compliment to give someone. (On a side note, the Pre-departure booklet gives other key phrases like hello, goodbye, my name is blank, etc... and of course the very last word is "Øl" which means "beer". I was amused.)

All in all I think I am preparing nicely to be unprepared. No matter how many phrases I learn, or books I read, I will be shocked. I will be amazed, I will be confused, and I will DEFINITELY be cold... but I will learn. Even if it is the biggest mistake of my life and I hate every day, I will grow as a person. I am just so excited.