By "EveryBoyInTheWorld" I really mean "a large portion of all people that is starting to make Julia question the validity of any hopes of getting into a serious relationship ever in the future."
A lot over the past 6 months has contributed to this post, and even more in the past week. Not everything I want to say will possibly be able to be articulated.
In Sweden last weekend there was an incident involving an unnamed girl and an unnamed boy and an accidental butt-grab to save the girls life. Shortly after we went out for cake and coffee and somehow wound up having this conversation (okay, the butt-grab situation really had nothing to do with this blog, but it was hilarious and I thought you needed a character intro). Unnamed boy does not see any need to ever get married and does not believe in destiny or soul mates. The rest of the table were all girls and we were appalled. Do boys not understand that we have been planning our weddings since we were 5 years old? That I have a fear of playing the card game "Old Maid" just because hearing those words sends instant images of cats and Friday night Desperate Housewives marathons for the rest of my life? He justified it with that thing that some boys think is okay where you can just date forever and never be legally bound. Then we argued that why not just get married if you never plan on leaving each other, then he countered with why do you need to a piece of paper to say you will never leave if you will never leave anyways. I do not understand, and the argument just goes in circles because if you look at it analytically the only real difference is shared insurance and tax benefits, and that is super unromantic.
In the USA the divorce rate is 45.8%, with Denmark right behind it at 44.5%. There is a HUGE culture difference when it comes to marriage however, so I do not understand how the Danish rate is still so high. From what I have heard/observed/discussed in class Danish people don't really feel pressured to get married. There are a lot of families where they have kids and are a family for years before they get married, and that is perfectly acceptable. There are also a lot of couples who will be together for over 10 years, and then separate, like a divorce but no legal action needs to take place. This may be a deal breaker Denmark.
It is really important to me to get married. I am not rushing anything and I do not even have a boyfriend, but at some point I want a boy who will commit to me.
I am a lyrics junkie. I don't care as much about what key the notes are in or how good of a singer the artist is, but if the lyrics get me I turn into a mushy puddle of hopeless romantic goo. Where is my boy who will define love songs for me? Where is a boy who feels the pain of break up songs? I do not need anything right now, and I am happy in Denmark doing my own thing, but I want a something to restore my faith in men.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
UFOs - Unidentified Foreign Objects
So many things are different, including of course fashion and food, but here is a brief insight into my new world. The left is the American version, the right is the Danish version.
Everyday Footwear
Stroller
Deodorant
Way to Get Water to the Drain (do you see the glory that is a difference from the shower and the floor? Oh America, you are so smart)
Mode of Transportation
SUV
Water.
This post was really inspired by the deodorant, and I wish I could do it with everything that exists, because it is seriously so different here. I am going to go have lunch of a grilled cheese made with smoked gouda and one of the zucchini/garlic/sundried tomato rolls we made last night. Yum. Big paper due tomorrow for CMC, haven't started. Practicum tomorrow. Test on Friday in Danish, am horrible at the language. Grace and Sean's birthday pub crawl on Friday. London on Saturday. Busy busy busy.
Everyday Footwear
Stroller
Deodorant
Way to Get Water to the Drain (do you see the glory that is a difference from the shower and the floor? Oh America, you are so smart)
Mode of Transportation
SUV
Water.
This post was really inspired by the deodorant, and I wish I could do it with everything that exists, because it is seriously so different here. I am going to go have lunch of a grilled cheese made with smoked gouda and one of the zucchini/garlic/sundried tomato rolls we made last night. Yum. Big paper due tomorrow for CMC, haven't started. Practicum tomorrow. Test on Friday in Danish, am horrible at the language. Grace and Sean's birthday pub crawl on Friday. London on Saturday. Busy busy busy.
Monday, September 27, 2010
"At Least Something Good Came Out of that Relationship"
When relationships end you divide up the things that were important to you that you acquired together. For example, in a divorce one person may get the house and the other gets the car. Or in long term relationships one person might get a dog that was bought together. In my most recent failed interpersonal interaction he got the satisfaction of knowing he broke my heart, and I got the Beatles obsession.
Oh my goodness, I am obsessed. There is seriously a song that relates to every moment of my life, and we are all SO glad I was not alive in the 60's because I probably would have defined fangirl. That being said, I JUST BOOKED MY TRIP TO LIVERPOOL! :)
I feel sick with excitement, Sunday the 10th of October I am spending the morning here:
and in the afternoon am going to John Lennon and Paul McCartney's childhood homes. I am so excited.
I am spending Saturday - Thursday in London with my class, then going to Windsor, Salisbury, Oxford, and Liverpool on my own, then flying out from Manchester on Monday. I need to do my Danish homework and focus on midterms but my mind is already speaking with a British accent.
Oh my goodness, I am obsessed. There is seriously a song that relates to every moment of my life, and we are all SO glad I was not alive in the 60's because I probably would have defined fangirl. That being said, I JUST BOOKED MY TRIP TO LIVERPOOL! :)
I feel sick with excitement, Sunday the 10th of October I am spending the morning here:
and in the afternoon am going to John Lennon and Paul McCartney's childhood homes. I am so excited.
I am spending Saturday - Thursday in London with my class, then going to Windsor, Salisbury, Oxford, and Liverpool on my own, then flying out from Manchester on Monday. I need to do my Danish homework and focus on midterms but my mind is already speaking with a British accent.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
If You Could See Me Now
All I can say is that I am a beast.
Okay, you know me too well, I ALWAYS have more to say.
Quick recap of Friday night: I was going to go beer tasting, I couldn't find the brewery for a good 45 minutes of searching even though I had a map and it was an area that I know and I apparently walked by it at least 3 times, but the point is that I missed it and was very upset, so I went home and did laundry. It takes 5 hours to do a load of laundry wash + dry, but it is free and brand new machines so I can't really complain. Since all of my clothes were dirty I was sporting a nice dark blue sweater, red tank top, bright blue running shorts, and my slipper booties. Of course I get invited to go out, so I scrambled to find an outfit, and ended up wearing my super cute short white skirt with navy stripes (but keep in mind mostly white). I was also wearing black underwear, which is an important element to later on in the story. So I get all dressed up and we head to a free concert at Tivoli. As soon as we get outside it starts sprinkling, which is fine. When we get to Tivoli out of nowhere it starts to POUR. Then the thunder and lightening come. It was so much fun and we were kinda playing in the rain, then I remembered what I was wearing. It ended up not being too bad, but I feel like only I would get myself in to that situation. Grace and I left early because we were both super tired and I had to be up at 6 the next morning. We tried to find the bus stop, but of course it is us so we failed. We ended up walking through Rådhuspladsen, which is the main city square. We got hot dogs at a vender (keep in mind it is midnight and raining) then we strolled down the Strøget (I wish you all knew how to say "Strøget" so you think that is cute) until we got to a bus stop we found suitable. It was a moment of perfect "I live in Copenhagen" awe. It was perfect. I feel like this picture pretty much sums it up.
The next morning I got up at 6am to get to the bus to go to Sweden. I do not know if normal people would have this feeling, but my ex-boyfriend has this property in the mountains (yes, the same property that destroyed my foot via golfcart) and one time he was like "Let's take a walk to the river" and the walk was legitimately the most ridiculous thing of my life up to that point where we had to climb down the side of a mountain and across rocks and wade through water and hike up and down slippery only kinda paths, and it is safe to say that I was a wreck and failed when I tried to keep up with him, well right now I wish he and I were on speaking terms just so that I could tell him how amazing I was this weekend. Because honestly the walk on the river looks like a baby compared to what I just did. I was going to wait and do this post with pictures, but I will just have to upload pictures to Facebook later. Here is a teaser:
First thing we did after the 2 hour drive and ferry ride was canoe. It was amazing, here is a video us.
After we went canoeing we finally got to eat lunch and went to our hostel. Our hostel was the cutest thing ever, and I got not only a real bed, but a big double real bed. Lunch was amazing soup, we all had like 2 bowls and 5 pieces of bread. At about 3:30 we headed out to go to to Nimis, which I will have to post a sketch google image picture of because I cannot really explain it. Our packet says it is "a mind-boggling driftwood structure that is an unruly maze of towers and tunnels that meander from the forested cliff-side to the water's edge" and was started in the 80's by this guy Lars Vilks and he still works on it to this day. The hike to Nimis was crazy ridiculous, and on the way back I got separated from the group and ended up getting a little lost, but I found my way, so it was okay.
Dinner was really good, and we all played boardgames and it was very hygge, but then we had to argue if you could have "hygge" in Sweden and what the Danes would say about that. Today we went orienteering, which I had no idea what was before but I am amazing at. I had to keep relating it to the ending of the movie Troop Beverly Hills, but we were much cooler. It is almost like s scavenger hunt (which DIS is VERY into) but in nature with tasks to do once you hike to the locations. We had to climb down into a cave and tie knots, out of the 3/6 of us that went down I was the only one who could tie the knots and I did them all correctly! I was proud. We did the orienteering for 2 1/2 hours, then went for another 2 hours of rappelling. Rappelling was cool, but I honestly have no real desire to ever do it again. I went down the baby one and was convinced I would not go off the huge seacliff, and then I did. I had so much fun and this blog does not even do it justice but I am tired and sore and have a million cuts and bruises all over my body and this is the best I can do at the moment. I think I may sign up for this trip again next semester, it was possibly the best weekend I have had while abroad.
If this did not suffice with details about the trip let me know and I will tell you in a real conversation how much of a beast I am, because it is true.
Okay, you know me too well, I ALWAYS have more to say.
Quick recap of Friday night: I was going to go beer tasting, I couldn't find the brewery for a good 45 minutes of searching even though I had a map and it was an area that I know and I apparently walked by it at least 3 times, but the point is that I missed it and was very upset, so I went home and did laundry. It takes 5 hours to do a load of laundry wash + dry, but it is free and brand new machines so I can't really complain. Since all of my clothes were dirty I was sporting a nice dark blue sweater, red tank top, bright blue running shorts, and my slipper booties. Of course I get invited to go out, so I scrambled to find an outfit, and ended up wearing my super cute short white skirt with navy stripes (but keep in mind mostly white). I was also wearing black underwear, which is an important element to later on in the story. So I get all dressed up and we head to a free concert at Tivoli. As soon as we get outside it starts sprinkling, which is fine. When we get to Tivoli out of nowhere it starts to POUR. Then the thunder and lightening come. It was so much fun and we were kinda playing in the rain, then I remembered what I was wearing. It ended up not being too bad, but I feel like only I would get myself in to that situation. Grace and I left early because we were both super tired and I had to be up at 6 the next morning. We tried to find the bus stop, but of course it is us so we failed. We ended up walking through Rådhuspladsen, which is the main city square. We got hot dogs at a vender (keep in mind it is midnight and raining) then we strolled down the Strøget (I wish you all knew how to say "Strøget" so you think that is cute) until we got to a bus stop we found suitable. It was a moment of perfect "I live in Copenhagen" awe. It was perfect. I feel like this picture pretty much sums it up.
The next morning I got up at 6am to get to the bus to go to Sweden. I do not know if normal people would have this feeling, but my ex-boyfriend has this property in the mountains (yes, the same property that destroyed my foot via golfcart) and one time he was like "Let's take a walk to the river" and the walk was legitimately the most ridiculous thing of my life up to that point where we had to climb down the side of a mountain and across rocks and wade through water and hike up and down slippery only kinda paths, and it is safe to say that I was a wreck and failed when I tried to keep up with him, well right now I wish he and I were on speaking terms just so that I could tell him how amazing I was this weekend. Because honestly the walk on the river looks like a baby compared to what I just did. I was going to wait and do this post with pictures, but I will just have to upload pictures to Facebook later. Here is a teaser:
First thing we did after the 2 hour drive and ferry ride was canoe. It was amazing, here is a video us.
After we went canoeing we finally got to eat lunch and went to our hostel. Our hostel was the cutest thing ever, and I got not only a real bed, but a big double real bed. Lunch was amazing soup, we all had like 2 bowls and 5 pieces of bread. At about 3:30 we headed out to go to to Nimis, which I will have to post a sketch google image picture of because I cannot really explain it. Our packet says it is "a mind-boggling driftwood structure that is an unruly maze of towers and tunnels that meander from the forested cliff-side to the water's edge" and was started in the 80's by this guy Lars Vilks and he still works on it to this day. The hike to Nimis was crazy ridiculous, and on the way back I got separated from the group and ended up getting a little lost, but I found my way, so it was okay.
Dinner was really good, and we all played boardgames and it was very hygge, but then we had to argue if you could have "hygge" in Sweden and what the Danes would say about that. Today we went orienteering, which I had no idea what was before but I am amazing at. I had to keep relating it to the ending of the movie Troop Beverly Hills, but we were much cooler. It is almost like s scavenger hunt (which DIS is VERY into) but in nature with tasks to do once you hike to the locations. We had to climb down into a cave and tie knots, out of the 3/6 of us that went down I was the only one who could tie the knots and I did them all correctly! I was proud. We did the orienteering for 2 1/2 hours, then went for another 2 hours of rappelling. Rappelling was cool, but I honestly have no real desire to ever do it again. I went down the baby one and was convinced I would not go off the huge seacliff, and then I did. I had so much fun and this blog does not even do it justice but I am tired and sore and have a million cuts and bruises all over my body and this is the best I can do at the moment. I think I may sign up for this trip again next semester, it was possibly the best weekend I have had while abroad.
If this did not suffice with details about the trip let me know and I will tell you in a real conversation how much of a beast I am, because it is true.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Min hjemmearbeide.
I hope that the grammar in the title is correct, I have a feeling no. It is hilarious to be in a beginning language class again, I just wish I was in an environment where I did not need to be advanced. Here is the paragraph I wrote for homework tonight, the assignment is called "Hvad med dig" which is "What about you" and was a paragraph we had to write from a series of questions. Not gonna lie, I have no idea what "Har du timer om onsdagen?" means (Do you have hours on Wendesday?, what...?) so I just phrased the response in the correct format and will ask my teacher tomorrow.
Jeg studerer psykologik og pedogogik. Jeg vil gerne være rig og lykkelig, men jeg vil ikke gerne være en heks. Jeg bor i centrum, i København. Jeg tager bussen til DIS. Om aftenen laver jeg hjemmearbeide. Om onsdagen timer jeg. Jeg kan godt lide lakrids. Jeg kan godt lide øl og wienerbrød, men jeg kan godt lide stykke wienerbrød om morgenen og jeg kan godt lide en øl om aftenen.
I am very proud. I also laugh when I put it in google translate:
"I'm studying psycho logic and pedogogik. I want to be rich and happy, but I would not like to be a witch. I live in the center of Copenhagen. I take the bus to the DIS. At night I make hjemmearbeide. On Wednesdays I hour. I like licorice. I like beer and pastry, but I like the pastry in the morning and I like a beer in the evening."
hjemmearbeide = homework
I did not go to the jazz thing tonight, instead I stayed home and booked my flight home from Manchester and did homework. Still a little stressed, but I needed a night in.
Jeg studerer psykologik og pedogogik. Jeg vil gerne være rig og lykkelig, men jeg vil ikke gerne være en heks. Jeg bor i centrum, i København. Jeg tager bussen til DIS. Om aftenen laver jeg hjemmearbeide. Om onsdagen timer jeg. Jeg kan godt lide lakrids. Jeg kan godt lide øl og wienerbrød, men jeg kan godt lide stykke wienerbrød om morgenen og jeg kan godt lide en øl om aftenen.
I am very proud. I also laugh when I put it in google translate:
"I'm studying psycho logic and pedogogik. I want to be rich and happy, but I would not like to be a witch. I live in the center of Copenhagen. I take the bus to the DIS. At night I make hjemmearbeide. On Wednesdays I hour. I like licorice. I like beer and pastry, but I like the pastry in the morning and I like a beer in the evening."
hjemmearbeide = homework
I did not go to the jazz thing tonight, instead I stayed home and booked my flight home from Manchester and did homework. Still a little stressed, but I needed a night in.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
One Month Down
And I hate Americans. Or, maybe I just hate Americans in Denmark?
I love where I live. I love my classes. I love the city. I love the country. What I hate? I hate this contrived little world of DIS.
Shared housing sucks, and I get that, but for once this rant isn't about living with the American students. My issue is that because the majority of people are only here for 4 months they do not care. They form into these tight little cliques as soon as they can and spend all of their time with either friends from home, or friends from their classes. Not going to lie, I am writing this out of hurt right now, but I do not understand what is wrong with me. I have a ton of acquaintances and people I am on good terms with, I have some pretty good friends here, and in the real world I have genuine best friends. However, all of that means nothing when you are trying to travel. All of my travel plans have gone out the window because everyone else has a clique. I am fine doing 3 days of England on my own, but I do not know if I can face 2 weeks, then 5 weeks, then 2 weeks again all by myself. Prices are going up and time is rapidly closing in on me, and I am just stuck here paralyzed by rejection. I may be damaged goods, but why do I have to be damaged goods during this once in a lifetime opportunity? I push people away because I am afraid of getting hurt, and then I get hurt anyways.
On a happier note, I had a really good day today until I stopped and had time to think about my travel break.
I got the most wonderful care package that brought a huge smile to my face. I went out for sushi with Grace and some of her friends, then we got ice cream (NOT from paradis, but this other really good place). After I came home and watched Glee and took a nap. I have no class on Wednesdays, in case you are wondering how this all took place instead of school. After my nap I went to my info meeting for volunteering at the bar. The "cafe" is called Mellemrummet (translated to "the gap") and is ran by MS (http://www.ms.dk/sw13950.asp). The cafe is nonprofit with all proceeds going to MS's service projects and it serves organic beers and wines as well as organic fair trade coffee drinks. It hasn't opened yet, but will by the end of October. They also have cute little events there like indie Danish bands play and vintage movie nights. Also also, they have volunteer parties and events and seem very excited to make a close knit volunteer community, which I am excited for and think should help with my lack of Danish interaction. It sounds perfect, and is literally less then 10 minutes walk from my home.
Tomorrow I am going to my practicum then going to Christiania for some jazz thing. Friday I am going beer tasting. This weekend I am going canoeing and hiking in Sweden. I also have a paper and a presentation due next week though, which I am not really a fan of. I am keeping busy, my life does not suck, I just apparently have no friends.
I love where I live. I love my classes. I love the city. I love the country. What I hate? I hate this contrived little world of DIS.
Shared housing sucks, and I get that, but for once this rant isn't about living with the American students. My issue is that because the majority of people are only here for 4 months they do not care. They form into these tight little cliques as soon as they can and spend all of their time with either friends from home, or friends from their classes. Not going to lie, I am writing this out of hurt right now, but I do not understand what is wrong with me. I have a ton of acquaintances and people I am on good terms with, I have some pretty good friends here, and in the real world I have genuine best friends. However, all of that means nothing when you are trying to travel. All of my travel plans have gone out the window because everyone else has a clique. I am fine doing 3 days of England on my own, but I do not know if I can face 2 weeks, then 5 weeks, then 2 weeks again all by myself. Prices are going up and time is rapidly closing in on me, and I am just stuck here paralyzed by rejection. I may be damaged goods, but why do I have to be damaged goods during this once in a lifetime opportunity? I push people away because I am afraid of getting hurt, and then I get hurt anyways.
On a happier note, I had a really good day today until I stopped and had time to think about my travel break.
I got the most wonderful care package that brought a huge smile to my face. I went out for sushi with Grace and some of her friends, then we got ice cream (NOT from paradis, but this other really good place). After I came home and watched Glee and took a nap. I have no class on Wednesdays, in case you are wondering how this all took place instead of school. After my nap I went to my info meeting for volunteering at the bar. The "cafe" is called Mellemrummet (translated to "the gap") and is ran by MS (http://www.ms.dk/sw13950.asp). The cafe is nonprofit with all proceeds going to MS's service projects and it serves organic beers and wines as well as organic fair trade coffee drinks. It hasn't opened yet, but will by the end of October. They also have cute little events there like indie Danish bands play and vintage movie nights. Also also, they have volunteer parties and events and seem very excited to make a close knit volunteer community, which I am excited for and think should help with my lack of Danish interaction. It sounds perfect, and is literally less then 10 minutes walk from my home.
Tomorrow I am going to my practicum then going to Christiania for some jazz thing. Friday I am going beer tasting. This weekend I am going canoeing and hiking in Sweden. I also have a paper and a presentation due next week though, which I am not really a fan of. I am keeping busy, my life does not suck, I just apparently have no friends.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Jeg kan godt lide Danmark. Jeg kan ikke lide regn.
So I wrote my paper for History of European Ballet, and I started my Danish homework, so I figure that is good enough for right now. I am seriously over school work here. I forget that it is school, in my mind it feels like a year off because I have so much other stuff on my mind. Also, as much as I adore my Danish teacher, what a stupid language. I only think it is stupid because I obviously am not intelligent enough to get it, but seriously. I guess it is harder because it is a super accelerated class, but my brain just hurts. And everything comes out in french? Like, french that I forgot that I knew pops into my brain before any danish word I know. My Danish class did go to the fodbold (football as in soccer) game yesterday.
It was F.C. København vs. Brøndby. København (in case you didn't know) is Copenhagen in Danish, and Brøndby is a suburb just outside the city. The teams will henceforth be known as FCK and Brøndby. They are club teams, but fodbold is serious business. This game is the biggest rivalry in the league. There is an extra 50 kroner charge on the tickets because of all the damage the Brøndby fans do to the stadium. There were over 35,000 people in the stands and it was freezing.
It was not a very exciting game in general, FCK scored within the first 10 minutes on a penalty kick, and scored again in the middle of the second half. Brøndby didn't really have a chance... and after all, it WAS soccer. I find that I am a very competitive person and get really in to sports, but only when I have some idea of what is going on. Everyone was talking in Danish, obviously, and I did not know any of the players and I did not know how to cheer or what the protocol was. Finally I got that if you just drink a beer and scream a lot you are easily accepted into the crowd. The FCK crowd was very into it, but I was just plain scared of Brøndby. They sneak in all these fireworks and sparklers and set them off during the game. Here is a series of pictures to try to explain it a little better.
Yeah. The second image is when they started throwing stuff at our goalie. The first is just of a chair they set on fire. Standard. It was weird because no one did anything about it. No one freaked out and no one put the fires out until the end of the game. In a stadium of over 30,000 people. The week after the city freaked out about a bomb threat. America would never be okay with this. I like that Denmark is so safe, but sometimes I worry that they are just naive, but maybe I am just an oversensitized American.
I had a lot of fun, but it was madness.
Tomorrow I have class all day then my cooking class. It is the vegetarian night so I am not too excited, but it IS free food + leftovers. I have been a little down today, as I tend to be these days when I have too much time to think. I really need to start a journal for myself, but I hate writing for myself, because I do not especially think I am a good writer and I tend to say some really stupid stuff. I like to write, but if I am writing for myself with an audience I am more inclined to write what I mean. Like knowing that my thoughts are out in the world allows me more freedom than keeping them locked up in a journal. I am my biggest critic, and I probably always will be, I just need to find a medium where I can journal with absolutely no filters, but not have to keep it to myself. I don't care if it is theraputic to journal, I write for myself but like to feel a little bit vulnerable I guess. I make no sense. I am now going to proceed to talk to Michelle instead of finishing my Danish homework tonight.
EDIT: trying to finish my homework now. WHY would they put the word "please" in a sentence for me to translate when please is not a word that exists in their vocabulary. Tak for stupid homework.
It was F.C. København vs. Brøndby. København (in case you didn't know) is Copenhagen in Danish, and Brøndby is a suburb just outside the city. The teams will henceforth be known as FCK and Brøndby. They are club teams, but fodbold is serious business. This game is the biggest rivalry in the league. There is an extra 50 kroner charge on the tickets because of all the damage the Brøndby fans do to the stadium. There were over 35,000 people in the stands and it was freezing.
It was not a very exciting game in general, FCK scored within the first 10 minutes on a penalty kick, and scored again in the middle of the second half. Brøndby didn't really have a chance... and after all, it WAS soccer. I find that I am a very competitive person and get really in to sports, but only when I have some idea of what is going on. Everyone was talking in Danish, obviously, and I did not know any of the players and I did not know how to cheer or what the protocol was. Finally I got that if you just drink a beer and scream a lot you are easily accepted into the crowd. The FCK crowd was very into it, but I was just plain scared of Brøndby. They sneak in all these fireworks and sparklers and set them off during the game. Here is a series of pictures to try to explain it a little better.
Yeah. The second image is when they started throwing stuff at our goalie. The first is just of a chair they set on fire. Standard. It was weird because no one did anything about it. No one freaked out and no one put the fires out until the end of the game. In a stadium of over 30,000 people. The week after the city freaked out about a bomb threat. America would never be okay with this. I like that Denmark is so safe, but sometimes I worry that they are just naive, but maybe I am just an oversensitized American.
I had a lot of fun, but it was madness.
Tomorrow I have class all day then my cooking class. It is the vegetarian night so I am not too excited, but it IS free food + leftovers. I have been a little down today, as I tend to be these days when I have too much time to think. I really need to start a journal for myself, but I hate writing for myself, because I do not especially think I am a good writer and I tend to say some really stupid stuff. I like to write, but if I am writing for myself with an audience I am more inclined to write what I mean. Like knowing that my thoughts are out in the world allows me more freedom than keeping them locked up in a journal. I am my biggest critic, and I probably always will be, I just need to find a medium where I can journal with absolutely no filters, but not have to keep it to myself. I don't care if it is theraputic to journal, I write for myself but like to feel a little bit vulnerable I guess. I make no sense. I am now going to proceed to talk to Michelle instead of finishing my Danish homework tonight.
EDIT: trying to finish my homework now. WHY would they put the word "please" in a sentence for me to translate when please is not a word that exists in their vocabulary. Tak for stupid homework.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Huset
Danish Lesson:
et = one
hus = house
et hus = a house
huset = the house
Confused? Oh you have no idea.
The house today is empty. There are only like 5 people using my kitchen this weekend instead of the usual 13, and it is fabulous. It is funny the sorts of things that make a place home, but instead of going out last night we stayed in and watched Project Runway online and sipped wine, then we shared secrets. If we had candles it may have even had a touch of hygge. It is the stupid stuff that I am doing here like listening to an Ivy League debate over Team Edward vs. Team Jacob and watching youtube videos of lions that remind me that this is a year of my life, and I do not have to be happy and perky and active every moment of it. I do not want to look back on this year with regrets that I did not do enough, but I need time to be me. I think I am going to make a Føtex run because I am once again out of groceries. You can only carry so much on a bus, and literally the only thing I have in my cupbord is Nutella and Olive Oil. Also, I adore Føtex and would go every day if I could.
et = one
hus = house
et hus = a house
huset = the house
Confused? Oh you have no idea.
The house today is empty. There are only like 5 people using my kitchen this weekend instead of the usual 13, and it is fabulous. It is funny the sorts of things that make a place home, but instead of going out last night we stayed in and watched Project Runway online and sipped wine, then we shared secrets. If we had candles it may have even had a touch of hygge. It is the stupid stuff that I am doing here like listening to an Ivy League debate over Team Edward vs. Team Jacob and watching youtube videos of lions that remind me that this is a year of my life, and I do not have to be happy and perky and active every moment of it. I do not want to look back on this year with regrets that I did not do enough, but I need time to be me. I think I am going to make a Føtex run because I am once again out of groceries. You can only carry so much on a bus, and literally the only thing I have in my cupbord is Nutella and Olive Oil. Also, I adore Føtex and would go every day if I could.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
All Men Are Lying Bastards: Julia's Danish Analysis of Swan Lake
I just got back from here (Opera House):
where I saw Svanesøen (Swan Lake) performed by the Royal Danish Ballet.
The production I saw was choreographed by Peter Martins, after Marius Petipa, Lev Ivanov, and George Balanchine. Now with my History of European Ballet class I want to go into the whole long explanation on Romantic Russian Ballet's and the Tchaikovsky controversy (whose name is spelled Tjajkovskij here), but I will save you that and get down to the basics and my opinion. This production only has 2 acts, instead of the original 4. Which means that instead of reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy; it is all a bit mixed together.
Now to my opinion: I loved it. Never again will I be able to see Swan Lake like I saw it just now. The only other time I have seen Swan Lake live I was blissfully happy in a relationship, completely ignorant to the realities of heartbreak. I thought that the story was about how true love will help you forgive no matter what. Tonight, I saw Svanesøen with my newly developed lack of faith in all relationships. My compassion for Odette filled my soul, my hatred for Odile was real, and I saw Siegfried for the jerk he really was. Something about my mindset tonight really allowed me to see it as a story about a guy who cheats on his girlfriend with a manipulative slut in a moment of lust, then tries to go back to his girlfriend expecting everything to be okay. What I liked in particular about this choreography, is that you do not see Odette die. You see the sorcerer get destroyed, and you see Siegfried suffering without Odette, but Odette seems to float off stage. I like this ending because it seems almost like she is in control of the situation. I know that there is SO much more to the story, but that is what I love about ballet. Not only is it a universal language within itself (which is nice in a foreign country), but what you are watching has a different impact on each person each time you see it. Odette seemed strong in this version. If ballet was a more relaxed form of expression, you may have caught me shouting "you go girl! you don't need him" at the final curtain. I cried like a baby during the pas de deux with Odile and Siegfried thinking about how he could hurt Odette like that, even if he was confused. I obviously have way too much personal baggage right now to see Swan Lake in an objective light, but I would rather feel passion directly related to my life then critique technique and costumes (which were both fabulous, btw).
where I saw Svanesøen (Swan Lake) performed by the Royal Danish Ballet.
The production I saw was choreographed by Peter Martins, after Marius Petipa, Lev Ivanov, and George Balanchine. Now with my History of European Ballet class I want to go into the whole long explanation on Romantic Russian Ballet's and the Tchaikovsky controversy (whose name is spelled Tjajkovskij here), but I will save you that and get down to the basics and my opinion. This production only has 2 acts, instead of the original 4. Which means that instead of reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy; it is all a bit mixed together.
Now to my opinion: I loved it. Never again will I be able to see Swan Lake like I saw it just now. The only other time I have seen Swan Lake live I was blissfully happy in a relationship, completely ignorant to the realities of heartbreak. I thought that the story was about how true love will help you forgive no matter what. Tonight, I saw Svanesøen with my newly developed lack of faith in all relationships. My compassion for Odette filled my soul, my hatred for Odile was real, and I saw Siegfried for the jerk he really was. Something about my mindset tonight really allowed me to see it as a story about a guy who cheats on his girlfriend with a manipulative slut in a moment of lust, then tries to go back to his girlfriend expecting everything to be okay. What I liked in particular about this choreography, is that you do not see Odette die. You see the sorcerer get destroyed, and you see Siegfried suffering without Odette, but Odette seems to float off stage. I like this ending because it seems almost like she is in control of the situation. I know that there is SO much more to the story, but that is what I love about ballet. Not only is it a universal language within itself (which is nice in a foreign country), but what you are watching has a different impact on each person each time you see it. Odette seemed strong in this version. If ballet was a more relaxed form of expression, you may have caught me shouting "you go girl! you don't need him" at the final curtain. I cried like a baby during the pas de deux with Odile and Siegfried thinking about how he could hurt Odette like that, even if he was confused. I obviously have way too much personal baggage right now to see Swan Lake in an objective light, but I would rather feel passion directly related to my life then critique technique and costumes (which were both fabulous, btw).
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Music Lyrics Because I am Apparently 12
Oh Jimmy Eat World, this song applies to every hard time I have ever had in my life, I do not even care if it is almost 10 years old by now. Here are the lyrics to The Middle:
Hey,
Don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out,
Or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.
[Chorus]
It just takes some time,
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright. (alright)
Hey,
You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, (on your own)
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough (good enough)
For someone else.
I do not even need to write any more then that on the subject, because it just sums it up so perfectly. Friend dynamics are still a little crazy. I am not sure how to explain it, but it is totally different from normal college, probably because so many people live with host families quite far away. Travel plans are also causing me great woes. I do not know what to do, I keep trying to convince myself that I can change it to make it work, but it seems like if I want to go along with other people I either do not get to go where I want or it is a lot more expensive then how I wanted to do it, but I also want to travel with friends. I have almost convinced myself to do my extra 3 days in England alone, but I do not know if I would get lonely or scared traveling alone. However, Stonehenge I have wanted to visit all my life and I have been obsessed with making it to Windsor Castle since I saw Prince Edward talk about it. My school is paying for my flight to England and for 5 days in London, I am going to take the opportunity while it still exists.
Today Grace and I went on a Føtex adventure! Føtex is like a super amazing Target but with more groceries and worse clothing. It took us over an hour to find it though, with lunch included possibly 2 hours... but it was not raining yet and if I wasn't so tired from my field study this morning I would have loved the walk.
My field study today was with my Multicultural Context class (my core class) and we went to DIA school which is a private Muslim school in Nørrebro (which is just across the lakes from where I live). It was very interesting, and I just can't get over how different the school systems here are.
I got my grades back from the test and the paper that were stressing me out. I did not do as well as I wanted, but I should not be going back to Sonoma as a total failure.
As a side note, all my friends have joined sororities in the past year and a half. Like, ALL my friends. No one really joined fall semester as freshman, but I literally can name like 4 or 5 people from home and Sonoma who are not Greek. This weirds me out and makes me feel as if I am missing out. I am not so much a fan of sororities as a whole, although I still love the girls I know who are in them, but I feel like I may have to rush as a senior in able to know anyone at all when I get back. LOL that I was about to post this and just reread this blog, including the lyrics at the top. I am doing better on my own, Jimmy Eat World told me so. I think I can go a little longer without worrying about fitting in when I get back to California.
Practicum and Royal Danish Ballet tomorrow!
Hey,
Don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out,
Or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.
[Chorus]
It just takes some time,
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright. (alright)
Hey,
You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, (on your own)
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough (good enough)
For someone else.
I do not even need to write any more then that on the subject, because it just sums it up so perfectly. Friend dynamics are still a little crazy. I am not sure how to explain it, but it is totally different from normal college, probably because so many people live with host families quite far away. Travel plans are also causing me great woes. I do not know what to do, I keep trying to convince myself that I can change it to make it work, but it seems like if I want to go along with other people I either do not get to go where I want or it is a lot more expensive then how I wanted to do it, but I also want to travel with friends. I have almost convinced myself to do my extra 3 days in England alone, but I do not know if I would get lonely or scared traveling alone. However, Stonehenge I have wanted to visit all my life and I have been obsessed with making it to Windsor Castle since I saw Prince Edward talk about it. My school is paying for my flight to England and for 5 days in London, I am going to take the opportunity while it still exists.
Today Grace and I went on a Føtex adventure! Føtex is like a super amazing Target but with more groceries and worse clothing. It took us over an hour to find it though, with lunch included possibly 2 hours... but it was not raining yet and if I wasn't so tired from my field study this morning I would have loved the walk.
My field study today was with my Multicultural Context class (my core class) and we went to DIA school which is a private Muslim school in Nørrebro (which is just across the lakes from where I live). It was very interesting, and I just can't get over how different the school systems here are.
I got my grades back from the test and the paper that were stressing me out. I did not do as well as I wanted, but I should not be going back to Sonoma as a total failure.
As a side note, all my friends have joined sororities in the past year and a half. Like, ALL my friends. No one really joined fall semester as freshman, but I literally can name like 4 or 5 people from home and Sonoma who are not Greek. This weirds me out and makes me feel as if I am missing out. I am not so much a fan of sororities as a whole, although I still love the girls I know who are in them, but I feel like I may have to rush as a senior in able to know anyone at all when I get back. LOL that I was about to post this and just reread this blog, including the lyrics at the top. I am doing better on my own, Jimmy Eat World told me so. I think I can go a little longer without worrying about fitting in when I get back to California.
Practicum and Royal Danish Ballet tomorrow!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Homesick, Depressed, and Helpless? Oh hi!
Here is a diagram of Culture Shock that I edited into a helpful little map for where I am in the process.
I know that I have already done the post expressing how whiney I can be, so I will keep this short. I have taken that other fun mindset of being homesick and multiplied it by everything that happened this summer and added more time here to become frustrated. I said a lot of "why me?"s in tonights edition of crying mess though, so let me tell you "why me."
It is me because I worked incredibly hard to get here. It is me because instead of wallowing in the pain I felt this summer I tried to deal with it like an adult and not choose to completely fall apart in July. It is me because I wanted this more then anything, and sacrificed everything at home to get it. Why me? Because I am going to come out of this knowing that I had an experience of a lifetime and that everything else will work itself out. There is nothing that can be fixed by crying, every challenge leads to the eventual celebration that I made it through.
That was my peptalk to myself.
In other news, I am afraid Charlie (my spider that I am completely petrified of and kinda let just have my room the past week but who I have become quite familiar with) has passed on to spider heaven. And of course by "am afraid" I mean "hope that finally" and now a nice brave boy from my hall can come clean him up. I will never complain about those wimpy California spiders ever again.
EDIT: CHARLIE IS VERY VERY MUCH ALIVE AND MAKING A WEB ON MY LIGHT. I am not okay with this.
I know that I have already done the post expressing how whiney I can be, so I will keep this short. I have taken that other fun mindset of being homesick and multiplied it by everything that happened this summer and added more time here to become frustrated. I said a lot of "why me?"s in tonights edition of crying mess though, so let me tell you "why me."
It is me because I worked incredibly hard to get here. It is me because instead of wallowing in the pain I felt this summer I tried to deal with it like an adult and not choose to completely fall apart in July. It is me because I wanted this more then anything, and sacrificed everything at home to get it. Why me? Because I am going to come out of this knowing that I had an experience of a lifetime and that everything else will work itself out. There is nothing that can be fixed by crying, every challenge leads to the eventual celebration that I made it through.
That was my peptalk to myself.
In other news, I am afraid Charlie (my spider that I am completely petrified of and kinda let just have my room the past week but who I have become quite familiar with) has passed on to spider heaven. And of course by "am afraid" I mean "hope that finally" and now a nice brave boy from my hall can come clean him up. I will never complain about those wimpy California spiders ever again.
EDIT: CHARLIE IS VERY VERY MUCH ALIVE AND MAKING A WEB ON MY LIGHT. I am not okay with this.
This is Not Vacation
This picture does not even do it justice of how bad it looks.
There are things that you can pack or get in care packages, but I was not expecting this. I need to find good hair mousse. This entire country is full of girls with gorgeous blond STRAIGHT hair, and I have not found any frizz control products or curl scrunching mousses. I think tomorrow inbetween classes I will go on a mission, because I am not going to walk around for a year with hair this out of control. Also, this country is pure rain and humidity so straightening seems practically pointless. I should have studied someplace known for people who do not constantly look like supermodels, but until then I will look like I do not own a brush and I will survive.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Just Going to Stand There and Watch Me Burn?
Actually, it is currently 12/9/10 here, but I cannot sleep because I live above a student night club on Saturdays and they are bumping music so loudly I can feel the floor shaking.
I hope to write about my Study Tour in more depth a little bit later on, but I would like to share a little about my thoughts on the anniversary of the 9/11/01 terrorist attacks in America.
It is hard to be in a country that is not your own, culture shock is a process that I prepared for as best as I could and I thought I was ready for my birthday, Thanksgiving, and all the holidays I will be spending away from my regular traditions. Labor day does not really mean anything to me besides a three day weekend by my birthday, and I am sorry to admit that Veteran's Day is a day off for Evida's birthday, and Memorial Day is an excuse to party close to finals. I always take a few moments on these holidays to try to reflect on what they actually are, but I do not feel a very strong connection to any one in the military and I am so afraid of war I distance myself from it as much as possible. I value each person who has gone into service, but it is easy to forget what huge sacrifices they are making, which I guess is why we have Veteran's and Memorial days. Because of my lackluster history of remembering the importance of these actual holidays it took me totally by surprise how much the 9th anniversary of 9/11 has hit me today, way more then I have ever noticed while I have lived in the states.
The study tour I was on was for my Children in a Multicultural Context course, so we went to Odense, more specifically Vollsmose. Vollsmose is about as close to "the projects" as you can get in Denmark. It receives a huge amount of negative attention from the media, and is known for violence and crime. It represents people from 80 different nationalities, with over 60% of the population being something besides Danish. It is made up of big cement buildings covered with graffiti (yet still manages to be gorgeous). The Danish people who do live there are very poor, and it is what Ethnic Danes (Danes from Danish decent) refer to as the "ghetto". The three main immigrant groups come from Somalia, Iraq and the Palestinian Territories. The majority of the people living there are Muslim, which brings me to my next interesting experience on my trip. During my trip was Eid al Fitr, which is the final day of Ramadan in the Islamic religion. After fasting for the month while the sun is up, the Muslim community has a huge celebration day of feasting and celebration. I am not going to pretend to know more about it then I do, but a lot of shops were closed and one of the schools we went to was down by almost 500 children (out of 800) who were at home preparing for this day. At the bazar we went to we got free homemade baklava and treats because of the celebration. I have studied Islam in school of course, but this is my first interaction in an Islamic community. This trip was also very eye opening because of the stark criticisms that some of the Danes seemed to have on immigration. In class we have learned that the political party that is in power right now is quite conservative and has a motto that loosely translates to "Denmark for the Danes" and they used to have a campaign video that featured footage of the 9/11 attacks. In all of Europe there is an "immigration crisis" but I had not yet gotten to meet someone who desired a "purer Danish culture". My teacher lived in Turkey for 17 years and is married to an Iraqi man who moved to Denmark as a political refugee, and she had to translate for us this man telling us that he wishes that Denmark would close its doors to the Middle East. The entire "crisis" sounds crazy to me, but then I remember that we are the ones who want to build a wall along our Mexican border.
I wish I knew more about the Danish cartoon situation of 2005, I do not know enough to be able to give a real rundown of what it entails, but there were editorial cartoons about Muhammad published in a prominent Danish newspaper in September 2005 that dealt with the issue of self-censoring that the Islamic community found horribly offensive, so when you see pictures of the Danish flag being burned by Muslims, it is almost always in response to the cartoon controversy.
Since the cartoon situation, Denmark has been afraid of terrorist attacks on its own country. They are not always the nicest to Muslims, and a few days ago (10/9/10) there was a man who appeared white and spoke english who walked into a hotel bathroom about 5 blocks away from where I live and attempted a sort of suicide bombing. Luckily, the man did not know what he was doing, but things like that do not happen in Denmark. The country, and especially the city is a little bit freaked out. The official report is that the man is mentally ill and not part of a terrorist organization, and not openly Islamic, but there are quite a few stories coming out that argue something quite different. We were in our bus in Odense when we heard about this, and as a group of Americans we were shocked. In reality if this had happened in America it would not be that notable, but this is a country that has never had a school shooting in their history and tends to stay as neutral as they can. Words like "suicide bomber" and "terrorist" are heightened words of sensitivity to us in our 9 year recovery as a nation. It was crazy to have something like that happen here where we feel so safe, and even crazier that we were in the densest Muslim population in the country and the scare happened right where we had come from. This is when my thinking about 9/11 really started.
Today we had a moment of silence in memory of 9/11 outside at a castle we were at. 19 Americans and one Dane, and it was something that I cannot really explain. It felt a little bit silly to me at first, because it is something that I would have never thought to do on my own. But there were representatives from all over the United States, and I thought that that made it special. We talked a bit to each other about where we had been when it happened, and how it affected us. I remember how scared I was as an 11 year old, and again how petrified I was when war was actually declared. I remember that I hear that the US had declared war while I was on my was to church for choir rehearsal and I was so freaked out I just kinda sat there all night. I have spent my teen years in a country that has scared me with patriotism, and scared me with lack of patriotism. What happened on September 11th is different and personal for every person. Today I recognized how far away California is from New York, but how our connections make everything feel like it is right there. It changed our country, and I just hope that we can find a way to make that change a positive one in the long run.
I have to go to bed because it is 2 and they are playing very peaceful techno now, but here is Julia's 9/11 ramble moral of the story:
What happened to the Twin Towers was a tragedy. I will never understand the pain that the loved ones of those who passed in such a situation feel, or the struggle to forgive that takes a remarkably stronger person then I hope I ever have to be. Islam is a beautiful religion, but any beautiful thing taken to an extreme can turn ugly. Fear only creates a vulnerable society who pounces on an opportunity to blame. The wounds will probably never heal, but the scars will hopefully keep us together as a nation. Understanding and intellect are what is going to save the world. Denmark and America are not so different.
I chose the images I did for this post to show how easy it is to be afraid, and to be angered by a negative stereotype. Hate will get us no where. The last image is of the Quran.
I hope to write about my Study Tour in more depth a little bit later on, but I would like to share a little about my thoughts on the anniversary of the 9/11/01 terrorist attacks in America.
It is hard to be in a country that is not your own, culture shock is a process that I prepared for as best as I could and I thought I was ready for my birthday, Thanksgiving, and all the holidays I will be spending away from my regular traditions. Labor day does not really mean anything to me besides a three day weekend by my birthday, and I am sorry to admit that Veteran's Day is a day off for Evida's birthday, and Memorial Day is an excuse to party close to finals. I always take a few moments on these holidays to try to reflect on what they actually are, but I do not feel a very strong connection to any one in the military and I am so afraid of war I distance myself from it as much as possible. I value each person who has gone into service, but it is easy to forget what huge sacrifices they are making, which I guess is why we have Veteran's and Memorial days. Because of my lackluster history of remembering the importance of these actual holidays it took me totally by surprise how much the 9th anniversary of 9/11 has hit me today, way more then I have ever noticed while I have lived in the states.
The study tour I was on was for my Children in a Multicultural Context course, so we went to Odense, more specifically Vollsmose. Vollsmose is about as close to "the projects" as you can get in Denmark. It receives a huge amount of negative attention from the media, and is known for violence and crime. It represents people from 80 different nationalities, with over 60% of the population being something besides Danish. It is made up of big cement buildings covered with graffiti (yet still manages to be gorgeous). The Danish people who do live there are very poor, and it is what Ethnic Danes (Danes from Danish decent) refer to as the "ghetto". The three main immigrant groups come from Somalia, Iraq and the Palestinian Territories. The majority of the people living there are Muslim, which brings me to my next interesting experience on my trip. During my trip was Eid al Fitr, which is the final day of Ramadan in the Islamic religion. After fasting for the month while the sun is up, the Muslim community has a huge celebration day of feasting and celebration. I am not going to pretend to know more about it then I do, but a lot of shops were closed and one of the schools we went to was down by almost 500 children (out of 800) who were at home preparing for this day. At the bazar we went to we got free homemade baklava and treats because of the celebration. I have studied Islam in school of course, but this is my first interaction in an Islamic community. This trip was also very eye opening because of the stark criticisms that some of the Danes seemed to have on immigration. In class we have learned that the political party that is in power right now is quite conservative and has a motto that loosely translates to "Denmark for the Danes" and they used to have a campaign video that featured footage of the 9/11 attacks. In all of Europe there is an "immigration crisis" but I had not yet gotten to meet someone who desired a "purer Danish culture". My teacher lived in Turkey for 17 years and is married to an Iraqi man who moved to Denmark as a political refugee, and she had to translate for us this man telling us that he wishes that Denmark would close its doors to the Middle East. The entire "crisis" sounds crazy to me, but then I remember that we are the ones who want to build a wall along our Mexican border.
I wish I knew more about the Danish cartoon situation of 2005, I do not know enough to be able to give a real rundown of what it entails, but there were editorial cartoons about Muhammad published in a prominent Danish newspaper in September 2005 that dealt with the issue of self-censoring that the Islamic community found horribly offensive, so when you see pictures of the Danish flag being burned by Muslims, it is almost always in response to the cartoon controversy.
Since the cartoon situation, Denmark has been afraid of terrorist attacks on its own country. They are not always the nicest to Muslims, and a few days ago (10/9/10) there was a man who appeared white and spoke english who walked into a hotel bathroom about 5 blocks away from where I live and attempted a sort of suicide bombing. Luckily, the man did not know what he was doing, but things like that do not happen in Denmark. The country, and especially the city is a little bit freaked out. The official report is that the man is mentally ill and not part of a terrorist organization, and not openly Islamic, but there are quite a few stories coming out that argue something quite different. We were in our bus in Odense when we heard about this, and as a group of Americans we were shocked. In reality if this had happened in America it would not be that notable, but this is a country that has never had a school shooting in their history and tends to stay as neutral as they can. Words like "suicide bomber" and "terrorist" are heightened words of sensitivity to us in our 9 year recovery as a nation. It was crazy to have something like that happen here where we feel so safe, and even crazier that we were in the densest Muslim population in the country and the scare happened right where we had come from. This is when my thinking about 9/11 really started.
Today we had a moment of silence in memory of 9/11 outside at a castle we were at. 19 Americans and one Dane, and it was something that I cannot really explain. It felt a little bit silly to me at first, because it is something that I would have never thought to do on my own. But there were representatives from all over the United States, and I thought that that made it special. We talked a bit to each other about where we had been when it happened, and how it affected us. I remember how scared I was as an 11 year old, and again how petrified I was when war was actually declared. I remember that I hear that the US had declared war while I was on my was to church for choir rehearsal and I was so freaked out I just kinda sat there all night. I have spent my teen years in a country that has scared me with patriotism, and scared me with lack of patriotism. What happened on September 11th is different and personal for every person. Today I recognized how far away California is from New York, but how our connections make everything feel like it is right there. It changed our country, and I just hope that we can find a way to make that change a positive one in the long run.
I have to go to bed because it is 2 and they are playing very peaceful techno now, but here is Julia's 9/11 ramble moral of the story:
What happened to the Twin Towers was a tragedy. I will never understand the pain that the loved ones of those who passed in such a situation feel, or the struggle to forgive that takes a remarkably stronger person then I hope I ever have to be. Islam is a beautiful religion, but any beautiful thing taken to an extreme can turn ugly. Fear only creates a vulnerable society who pounces on an opportunity to blame. The wounds will probably never heal, but the scars will hopefully keep us together as a nation. Understanding and intellect are what is going to save the world. Denmark and America are not so different.
I chose the images I did for this post to show how easy it is to be afraid, and to be angered by a negative stereotype. Hate will get us no where. The last image is of the Quran.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
It's Not Like I'm Procrastinating
I mean, I still have a full 19 hours before I have to email my paper to my professor, but who assigns a paper worth 20% of your grade in a core class the first 2 weeks anyways? It is a short paper, but really I just have no idea what it is supposed to be about so I haven't started.
I just had my first cooking class and it was supercool! or superfat as the direct translation from Danish... We made breakfast and lunches, which consisted of many different things, we made:
- banana pancakes
- fruit and nut cinnamon vanilla sugar oatmeal
- eggs with onion and fresh spinach
- rye break with warm liver pate and cucumber
- tuna salad with carrots, corn, and bell pepper on rye bread
- egg salad with pineapple, apples, curry, onion, and celery on rye bread
- pasta salad with basil lemon dressing
I was not a fan of the liver (we could put beats on it if we wanted too!), but the rest was really good. I feel like I may be forgetting something, but I do not know what. I still have 4 more classes and am very excited. It is funny that there are only 14 people in the cooking class and 5/7 Sonoma girls are in it without knowing beforehand.
I just had my first cooking class and it was supercool! or superfat as the direct translation from Danish... We made breakfast and lunches, which consisted of many different things, we made:
- banana pancakes
- fruit and nut cinnamon vanilla sugar oatmeal
- eggs with onion and fresh spinach
- rye break with warm liver pate and cucumber
- tuna salad with carrots, corn, and bell pepper on rye bread
- egg salad with pineapple, apples, curry, onion, and celery on rye bread
- pasta salad with basil lemon dressing
I was not a fan of the liver (we could put beats on it if we wanted too!), but the rest was really good. I feel like I may be forgetting something, but I do not know what. I still have 4 more classes and am very excited. It is funny that there are only 14 people in the cooking class and 5/7 Sonoma girls are in it without knowing beforehand.
T-Pain Likes Me
"Dear Julia,
I am happy to inform you that you have been offered the opportunity to volunteer at a new non-profit cafe, Mellemrummet, which opens on September 24. The concept for the cafe is openness, interest in the world, an organic approach, fair-trade, non-profit and great atmosphere right in the heart of Nørrebro.
The cafe is run by the NGO MS ActionAid Denmark
MS ActionAid Denmark fights poverty in the developing world by promoting the political empowerment of the world community’s most vulnerable people. Your volunteer position will include bartending (you are to attend a mandatory training session)."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Life,
LOL!
Sincerely,
Julia
I am happy to inform you that you have been offered the opportunity to volunteer at a new non-profit cafe, Mellemrummet, which opens on September 24. The concept for the cafe is openness, interest in the world, an organic approach, fair-trade, non-profit and great atmosphere right in the heart of Nørrebro.
The cafe is run by the NGO MS ActionAid Denmark
MS ActionAid Denmark fights poverty in the developing world by promoting the political empowerment of the world community’s most vulnerable people. Your volunteer position will include bartending (you are to attend a mandatory training session)."
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Dear Life,
LOL!
Sincerely,
Julia
Monday, September 6, 2010
Vision of Pink in a Sea of Black
So basically if you are an ethnik dansk girl you look like you are from an H&M ad. People seriously dress so well here. By the time I get back I hope to be totally fashionable, but you will all just mistake me for dressing like Euro trash, however, Amanda and I will know better. These are the things I love and want to own and be able to rock.
Beautiful Scarves
Super Stylish Blazer
Fun Tights
Ankle Boots
Now are the things that I think are horrible and I could never rock in a million years but I may have to buy just so that I can wear them in America and you can judge me.
Trendy Low Crotch Blousy Pants of Doom
Danish Bumpit
Cut Up Leggings That Look Really Hard to Put On
Full Length Romper
As of now I look like an American wearing way too bright of colors, except I have been wearing my one scarf, leggings, and on my birthday I wore my black tights. The black tights are VERY in right now, but mine do not have any holes yet...
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Tyvre!
So here is the short deal of my birthday. All the activities I did were fun and I was with a good supportive group of friends, but I was a little bit of an emotional mess at a few different points. It was still better then birthdays of the past have been and the only thing that really upset me was my school withholidng my birthday package because 'they do not hand out packages on the weekends' even though you could see in to the mail room where it was and there was someone at the desk...
The night before I had convinced myself that I was going to clean my room and go to sleep really early so I would be rested, but then that ended up not happening at all. I went out with some people from my floor and it was fun, but then this boy wanted to go to a gay bar and that was probably one of the most fun things I have done here. They played every song I requested, AND the songs that the DJ just played by himself were so great. I am talking Shakira and Britney and Modonna with everyone singing along at the top of their lungs. I got home from that at around 4, and then the fire alarm went off, I was not pleased, but I passed out again very easily.
In the morning I went on the school trip to Frederiksborg Castle. We had to meet a Frue Plads which is only 3 bus stops away. Well, it is only 3 bus stops away on a day that the 14 actually takes it's route. I do not know if it is a weekend thing, or if all the busses just went crazy, but it did not go the way it has the other 20 times I have taken it, AND today I took it and it went ANOTHER way that I had never been before. I do not understand. Anyways, Amanda picked me up some wienerbrød and it was delicious and we were on our way tot he castle. We did not actually get a lot of time there, which was sad because it was a beautiful sunny day and we wanted to go to the gardens, but it was still really fun and really pretty. The castle is Christian IV's summer castle that he built to be a symbol of how wealthy he was. Then Christian VII (Christian IV's great great great great great grandson) decided that he wanted to live in it all year (Christian VII is the one who decided it was okay to have Denmark be a democracy because he did not really want to be king all that much and was much more interested in history, especially the history of Christian IV). However, the castle was a summer castle so Christian VII had to put in fire places everywhere to keep it warm in the winter, which of course means that the castle had many fires and almost all of it has been destroyed at some point. No one royal lives in the castle any more, and the Carlsborg Brewery has sponsored a national museum there since the mid 18oos.
Later in the day we went to Tivoli which is unlike any amusement park I have been to before. Tivoli was one of the things that inspired Disneyland, and it kinda has that feel, except it is a lot more homey. Disneyland has the charm that is created for you, that is so perfect and wonderful, but Tivoli seems to have natural charm that comes with history. We only went on one ride and it was the swing ride. It is the tallest swing ride in the world at 80 metres high. I thought it was going to be scary, but it was magical. I couldn't tell if I was crying because it was so beautiful or because of the cold air hitting my eyes, but I know that I want to remember that moment forever. After the ride we went to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner and I got a California burger. I have been really home sick the past couple days, but it was perfect.
I was going to go out again last night, but when I got back home (after midnight) I just passed out. It was a good birthday and I had a lot of fun. I was not home, but I can have as many birthdays as I want at home, this will probably be my only one in Copenhagen.
Today we had a picnic that DIS put on. It was on the beach, well on a lawn right next to the beach. I know that this weather will not last, but I wish that it would for just a little longer.
The night before I had convinced myself that I was going to clean my room and go to sleep really early so I would be rested, but then that ended up not happening at all. I went out with some people from my floor and it was fun, but then this boy wanted to go to a gay bar and that was probably one of the most fun things I have done here. They played every song I requested, AND the songs that the DJ just played by himself were so great. I am talking Shakira and Britney and Modonna with everyone singing along at the top of their lungs. I got home from that at around 4, and then the fire alarm went off, I was not pleased, but I passed out again very easily.
In the morning I went on the school trip to Frederiksborg Castle. We had to meet a Frue Plads which is only 3 bus stops away. Well, it is only 3 bus stops away on a day that the 14 actually takes it's route. I do not know if it is a weekend thing, or if all the busses just went crazy, but it did not go the way it has the other 20 times I have taken it, AND today I took it and it went ANOTHER way that I had never been before. I do not understand. Anyways, Amanda picked me up some wienerbrød and it was delicious and we were on our way tot he castle. We did not actually get a lot of time there, which was sad because it was a beautiful sunny day and we wanted to go to the gardens, but it was still really fun and really pretty. The castle is Christian IV's summer castle that he built to be a symbol of how wealthy he was. Then Christian VII (Christian IV's great great great great great grandson) decided that he wanted to live in it all year (Christian VII is the one who decided it was okay to have Denmark be a democracy because he did not really want to be king all that much and was much more interested in history, especially the history of Christian IV). However, the castle was a summer castle so Christian VII had to put in fire places everywhere to keep it warm in the winter, which of course means that the castle had many fires and almost all of it has been destroyed at some point. No one royal lives in the castle any more, and the Carlsborg Brewery has sponsored a national museum there since the mid 18oos.
Later in the day we went to Tivoli which is unlike any amusement park I have been to before. Tivoli was one of the things that inspired Disneyland, and it kinda has that feel, except it is a lot more homey. Disneyland has the charm that is created for you, that is so perfect and wonderful, but Tivoli seems to have natural charm that comes with history. We only went on one ride and it was the swing ride. It is the tallest swing ride in the world at 80 metres high. I thought it was going to be scary, but it was magical. I couldn't tell if I was crying because it was so beautiful or because of the cold air hitting my eyes, but I know that I want to remember that moment forever. After the ride we went to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner and I got a California burger. I have been really home sick the past couple days, but it was perfect.
I was going to go out again last night, but when I got back home (after midnight) I just passed out. It was a good birthday and I had a lot of fun. I was not home, but I can have as many birthdays as I want at home, this will probably be my only one in Copenhagen.
Today we had a picnic that DIS put on. It was on the beach, well on a lawn right next to the beach. I know that this weather will not last, but I wish that it would for just a little longer.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Cue Homesickness and Pre-Birthday Blues
2/9/10 17:59
DISCLAIMER: This post can be summed up as followed “WAH WAH WAH I hate my life and no one likes me” so if you do not feel like reading that, I would skip this one.
Things I really miss about home:
- my car
- showers that drain, I do not have to share, and that I can spend as much time in as I would like
- my bathroom in general
- vegetables besides starches or cucumbers, fruit that does not have brown spots
- food that is easy to get and make
- not spending ridiculous amounts of money on nothing
- my clothes and shoes
- quiet places to study that are not 4 bus stops away
- texting
- having internet
- TV
- being able to eavesdrop
- being organized
Okay, I got my first package today. The girl opening hers next to me had her birthday yesterday and got a package full of presents and treats. I knew what was in mine, but I am not going to lie that I was upset when there was not even a note or anything. I haven’t had a real conversation with my parents since they dropped me off at the airport. It is mainly because of my lack of internet, but it is hard seeing everyone else being harassed by their parents at all hours of the day. I feel like I have nothing to complain about when they all say “Oh my goodness, my mother talked to me for like 5 hours last night, she just would not shut up!” and I just sit there. Seriously, I get a letter at Sonoma like every other week when I am only 2 hours away. This is not a post bashing my parents at all, I just am realizing how far disconnected I am from everything at home. My mom said that she would try to give me space while I am away, but I feel like she smothers me when I don’t need it and when I could use a little contact I get nothing. I really hate that communication is so hard. I always blame others for lack of communication, but maybe it is my fault? I do not know.
Anyways, my birthday is in 2 days. For the past 3 years I have had horrible birthdays. Senior year I was in the midst of some stupid depression thing and had no friends, Freshmen year of college I had just moved there and was super homesick and was also still very upset about breaking up with that boyfriend, and last year I put a lot of work into a night that blew up in my face and when I broke down crying my friends just left me in the car while they talked outside. The last good birthday I remember was when I turned 16 and spent it in Disneyland with my mother and none of my friends. Today I had this moment when I forgot that it was going to be my birthday, and it was nice. Then I remembered and got very homesick. But it is not like home really ever makes good birthdays for me. I just want it to be special so badly that I make ridiculously high expectations, and then no one cares except me and I end up disappointed and feeling worthless.
This birthday is also hard for me because I am turning 20. In itself this is not a big deal, but if you know anything about my summer and the changes that took place over it you might understand that I am in the biggest transition point I have yet to experience. The number 20 just feels like an ultimatum on my childhood. It should be, I just feel like I wasted my teenage years living a life I hated and I wish I had the chance to do it again. Now I am going to be 20, in a country where no one really knows me, without a boyfriend, with very few close friendships at home, and facing another 4-6 years of school to get anywhere close to where I want to be with my education. By saying that this is my chance to reinvent myself, it really just means that I have nothing about myself worth saving.
I am really overwhelmed by my life right now. I cannot really describe what I am going through right now. My professors are European so they have thrown us into a teaching style and very high academic standards I do not understand yet, but they are still encouraging us to be tourists. It also takes about 45 minutes round trip to get to internet which takes time out of my day. I am behind on all my school work, have a test tomorrow on material I haven’t looked at yet, and am going to have to talk to an “immersion counselor” or something because I have not successfully completed enough Danish immersion things? Um, you guys are the ones who wouldn’t give me a host family, a visiting family, or a volunteer option because the CSU system screwed me over. I just want to be in Sonoma where I have friends, I know that Trader Joes has my back, and professors worship me. AND WHERE I HAVE INTERNET! Really DIS, this is getting ridiculous.
Tomorrow after I take my test and get through my 6 hours of class I will love this place again I am sure, but right now I want to watch Arrested Development on my laptop and take a bubble bath while I eat something besides carbs.
DISCLAIMER: This post can be summed up as followed “WAH WAH WAH I hate my life and no one likes me” so if you do not feel like reading that, I would skip this one.
Things I really miss about home:
- my car
- showers that drain, I do not have to share, and that I can spend as much time in as I would like
- my bathroom in general
- vegetables besides starches or cucumbers, fruit that does not have brown spots
- food that is easy to get and make
- not spending ridiculous amounts of money on nothing
- my clothes and shoes
- quiet places to study that are not 4 bus stops away
- texting
- having internet
- TV
- being able to eavesdrop
- being organized
Okay, I got my first package today. The girl opening hers next to me had her birthday yesterday and got a package full of presents and treats. I knew what was in mine, but I am not going to lie that I was upset when there was not even a note or anything. I haven’t had a real conversation with my parents since they dropped me off at the airport. It is mainly because of my lack of internet, but it is hard seeing everyone else being harassed by their parents at all hours of the day. I feel like I have nothing to complain about when they all say “Oh my goodness, my mother talked to me for like 5 hours last night, she just would not shut up!” and I just sit there. Seriously, I get a letter at Sonoma like every other week when I am only 2 hours away. This is not a post bashing my parents at all, I just am realizing how far disconnected I am from everything at home. My mom said that she would try to give me space while I am away, but I feel like she smothers me when I don’t need it and when I could use a little contact I get nothing. I really hate that communication is so hard. I always blame others for lack of communication, but maybe it is my fault? I do not know.
Anyways, my birthday is in 2 days. For the past 3 years I have had horrible birthdays. Senior year I was in the midst of some stupid depression thing and had no friends, Freshmen year of college I had just moved there and was super homesick and was also still very upset about breaking up with that boyfriend, and last year I put a lot of work into a night that blew up in my face and when I broke down crying my friends just left me in the car while they talked outside. The last good birthday I remember was when I turned 16 and spent it in Disneyland with my mother and none of my friends. Today I had this moment when I forgot that it was going to be my birthday, and it was nice. Then I remembered and got very homesick. But it is not like home really ever makes good birthdays for me. I just want it to be special so badly that I make ridiculously high expectations, and then no one cares except me and I end up disappointed and feeling worthless.
This birthday is also hard for me because I am turning 20. In itself this is not a big deal, but if you know anything about my summer and the changes that took place over it you might understand that I am in the biggest transition point I have yet to experience. The number 20 just feels like an ultimatum on my childhood. It should be, I just feel like I wasted my teenage years living a life I hated and I wish I had the chance to do it again. Now I am going to be 20, in a country where no one really knows me, without a boyfriend, with very few close friendships at home, and facing another 4-6 years of school to get anywhere close to where I want to be with my education. By saying that this is my chance to reinvent myself, it really just means that I have nothing about myself worth saving.
I am really overwhelmed by my life right now. I cannot really describe what I am going through right now. My professors are European so they have thrown us into a teaching style and very high academic standards I do not understand yet, but they are still encouraging us to be tourists. It also takes about 45 minutes round trip to get to internet which takes time out of my day. I am behind on all my school work, have a test tomorrow on material I haven’t looked at yet, and am going to have to talk to an “immersion counselor” or something because I have not successfully completed enough Danish immersion things? Um, you guys are the ones who wouldn’t give me a host family, a visiting family, or a volunteer option because the CSU system screwed me over. I just want to be in Sonoma where I have friends, I know that Trader Joes has my back, and professors worship me. AND WHERE I HAVE INTERNET! Really DIS, this is getting ridiculous.
Tomorrow after I take my test and get through my 6 hours of class I will love this place again I am sure, but right now I want to watch Arrested Development on my laptop and take a bubble bath while I eat something besides carbs.
My Practicum Site!
So I am working in a børnehave in the northern suburbs of Copenhagen every Thursday from 9:00-15:00. The kids are between the ages of 3 and 6 and it is like a kindergarten. The area I am working in is probably the most culturally diverse in all of Denmark. I think we only had like 3 or 4 children who were more then second generation Danish. It is not too great of an area, with some of the children having a history of being abused, but the kids are great. I had so much fun, but it is so different from American kindergartens. The children can stay as long as they want between the hours of 6 and 18. There is also no schedule, no planned activities. They eat then play, then eat again, and play some more, then have snack, then play, maybe a story, then some play time, then a meal. But, the wonderful thing is that they feed us. About half the children come from Islamic backgrounds, so there is no beef or pork, but they eat primarily organic foods. For snack today we had home made cinamon bread with this really awesome creamy cheese and bell peppers. I will definitely be eating well on Thursdays. All the children use real dishes and knives and forks also. No sippy cups in Denmark, it is crazy. I was petrified and got off on a rocky start (it took me an hour and a half to get there this morning), but I am in love.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
It is starting to happen.
The me actually having a life and not being able to blog a million times a day. I want to write a whole long huge post about Christiania, but I am tired and need to take the bus home so that I can sleep and be rested for my practicum tomorrow. For now I shall provide you with the Wikipedia link, but expect my personal opinion on it soon because it has consumed my past 24 hours. It was amazing and unlike anything I have ever experienced before.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freetown_Christiania
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freetown_Christiania
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