Pre-Denmark Drama

I have had a pretty ridiculous week, and it seems like all the ridiculous-ness is based around Denmark. I know that by taking this year away I am basically signing up to change every relationship I have. I will not see people from Sonoma for a year and even if we try to keep in touch it is different then living with them. The few friends I have at home I am very close to, and see on a regular basis and talk to frequently. At Sonoma I still come home about once a month, and at least every 2, so I think that dynamics with my parents will change. This will be the first time I will be spending the holidays away from home, and I think it will be a wake-up call that I really can survive without holding their hands.

The apprehension of my departure is turning everyone crazy. I am trying to squeeze in every last person in my life before I leave, but then I want to spend as much time with my best friends and my family as possible. All of this on top of the fact that I am leaving in less then a month and still have SO much left to do. I think I may be in a little bit of denial still, that I think that everything will be able to be the same when I return, but I know that I will be a totally different person. Each year I change so much anyways, and that is while I have been surrounded by the familiar in my comfort zone.

I want to maintain the friendships that I have but as The Sims always taught me "friendships are like flowers" (or something like that) and need to be tended in order to remain. I also want to fully immerse myself in my new Danish life because it will only be there for such a short period of time. I do not want to be the naive girl who is too attached to her friends in America and makes herself homesick. I think I will be fine. I am a true believer that if a friendship is genuine it can overcome almost anything, but there is still the lingering fear that while I am away I will be completely forgotten. I will just have to work out the balance. I will have an amazing time over there and I will make new friends, I just hope that I will have someone to come home to.

EDIT: Right after I published this post the song "Your Friends are Gone" by Circa Survive came on shuffle on my itunes. Bad omen or my computer mocking me? I cannot tell but I am a little concerned...