As you may notice by the time stamp it is 4:30 am in Copenhagen when I am posting this. This is not who I am, I only get insomnia caused by crazy stress, and didn't I just END midterms? Ugh.
I need a bad day outlet. I think that is what this is. I have all these bad days stockpiled up from the past three weeks, but I do not know how to fix it when I am here. At Sonoma the cure for a bad day is easy. You get Taco Bell, bake (usually cookies), watch a Disney movie, possibly hot tub, then talk to your best friend on the phone who can always make you feel better.
Well, tacos are not really part of the Danish cuisine, and I highly doubt if a Taco Bell did exist it would be close/affordable. They do not have chocolate chips in this country. Watching a movie on a laptop streaming from a sketchy website is not the same. I have not seen a pool since July. No longer on speaking terms with the best friend.
I used to make a big deal about how bad he was at comforting me, and that he never gave me "poor baby" enough when I needed it. I realize that by the end of our friendship he knew me so well he could turn even my worst mood into one that was eased enough that I could get a good nights sleep. I know not to dwell on the past, but I miss being that close to someone.
I got to talk to Michelle today, but we talk so rarely that even when we talk it only brushes the surface. I have been going on walks which eases my mind and helps to center me, but it is a bit rainy and cold lately.
Life is not bad, but this my dears is what we call a "funk". Tomorrow, after classes and a nap, I am going to break it. Just watch me. But right now... right now I am going to overanalyze the past 7 years of my life and try to figure out how I got to where I am right now.
Rise and Shine in 4 hours. Good Morning Copenhagen, Godnat California.
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