The Italian Ring Dance

The Italian Ring Dance is something that I have observed in Switzerland and France also, but it is mainly performed in Italy, as per its name.

To start the dance, one must have have a very limited French vocabulary. This is essential for both yourself and your partner. Your partner can be any ethnic race, but they are under no circumstances are allowed to be fluent in English, or know more than a few key phrases like "pretty lady" and "hello". If they do know these phrases they will probably be repeated frequently throughout the duration fo the dance. The most common setting for the Italian Ring Dance is in a public place where tourists frequent, but it can also be done at bars and in dark alleys.

Now we get to the dancing. The partner must approach you and lure you in with accidental eye contact or a sweet smile. He will try to communicate with you in his primary language, which you will not understand. After looking confused and motioning that you do not speak his language he will ask if you speak French. You must reply "un petit peu". He will then talk to you in horrible French with a very thick Italian accent and you will be able to understand very little. You must throw your hands up in the air and shrug. He will respond with slight frustration, but here is where the fun begins. He will start miming everything he is trying to say. He will ask you to walk by making wiggling motions with his fingers and point in different directions. Tonight I even got him to tell me I look pretty by doing a combination of pointing to his eye and pretending to do a hair flip with a smile and a point to me. Eventually after some silliness, he will point to his ring finger, and then to you. This is when you nod yes that you do indeed have a husband and he is waiting for you at the hotel.

So ends the Italian Ring Dance. If your partner is a gentleman he will shake your hand, or possibly kiss it, and say goodbye. I have never not met a gentleman while doing the Italian Ring Dance, but if he is not I imagine it would end in pepper spray and running.

Hjem i morgen!