Happy Valentine's Day Eve!

Is 20 too young to give up on love? Possibly.

When I was younger I wanted to have my first kid by the time I was 25, now I just want to finish school by then. I really am perfectly fine being single, which is something that I have not been fine with for quite a while. Right now I need to be focused on myself and I still have quite a bit of baggage to work through before I can open my heart to someone else. It is always nice to get those daydreams in which I find the perfect man next week and we can galivant around Europe together and be sickeningly adorable, but I am not really a "cute relationship" kinda gal. I want what I can't have, and right now it would not be practical to even want anything. My beef is not with being single right now, my issue is that I feel like I am going to be single forever.

What is going to happen? Hopefully (if all goes as planned) I will spend 2 more years at Sonoma, and then 3-5 years working towards the ultimate goal of a PhD. After school I will have to throw myself into trying to use my million years of schooling and hard work towards a job that will probably overwhelm and consume my life for a few years until I can become established and credible. How did this become the plan? If you had asked the little girl I was, all she wanted was to get married and have a family, but with this plan does not seem to include time to try to meet a husband.

The future will come, and if I have to spend it alone that is something I will have to deal with then. Here, right now, it is the day before my first Valentine's Day in Denmark. It is nice because Danes don't really understand the absolute need to be in a relationship and go overboard with cliche romantic gestures, but they totally get the cute commercial aspect of it. Tiger (my favorite store ever) is selling all sorts of cute pink thins with hearts, and I approve. Tomorrow I am going over to Amanda's house with Grace and we are going to sip champagne, make pink cookies, watch movies, and eat homemade pizza with heart-shaped pepperoni on it. It is not a pity party, it is going to be a pretty party. I am quite excited.