Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My Name is EveryBoyInTheWorld and I Have Commitment Issues

By "EveryBoyInTheWorld" I really mean "a large portion of all people that is starting to make Julia question the validity of any hopes of getting into a serious relationship ever in the future."

A lot over the past 6 months has contributed to this post, and even more in the past week. Not everything I want to say will possibly be able to be articulated.

In Sweden last weekend there was an incident involving an unnamed girl and an unnamed boy and an accidental butt-grab to save the girls life. Shortly after we went out for cake and coffee and somehow wound up having this conversation (okay, the butt-grab situation really had nothing to do with this blog, but it was hilarious and I thought you needed a character intro). Unnamed boy does not see any need to ever get married and does not believe in destiny or soul mates. The rest of the table were all girls and we were appalled. Do boys not understand that we have been planning our weddings since we were 5 years old? That I have a fear of playing the card game "Old Maid" just because hearing those words sends instant images of cats and Friday night Desperate Housewives marathons for the rest of my life? He justified it with that thing that some boys think is okay where you can just date forever and never be legally bound. Then we argued that why not just get married if you never plan on leaving each other, then he countered with why do you need to a piece of paper to say you will never leave if you will never leave anyways. I do not understand, and the argument just goes in circles because if you look at it analytically the only real difference is shared insurance and tax benefits, and that is super unromantic.

In the USA the divorce rate is 45.8%, with Denmark right behind it at 44.5%. There is a HUGE culture difference when it comes to marriage however, so I do not understand how the Danish rate is still so high. From what I have heard/observed/discussed in class Danish people don't really feel pressured to get married. There are a lot of families where they have kids and are a family for years before they get married, and that is perfectly acceptable. There are also a lot of couples who will be together for over 10 years, and then separate, like a divorce but no legal action needs to take place. This may be a deal breaker Denmark.

It is really important to me to get married. I am not rushing anything and I do not even have a boyfriend, but at some point I want a boy who will commit to me.

I am a lyrics junkie. I don't care as much about what key the notes are in or how good of a singer the artist is, but if the lyrics get me I turn into a mushy puddle of hopeless romantic goo. Where is my boy who will define love songs for me? Where is a boy who feels the pain of break up songs? I do not need anything right now, and I am happy in Denmark doing my own thing, but I want a something to restore my faith in men.

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