Homesick, Depressed, and Helpless? Oh hi!

Here is a diagram of Culture Shock that I edited into a helpful little map for where I am in the process.

I know that I have already done the post expressing how whiney I can be, so I will keep this short. I have taken that other fun mindset of being homesick and multiplied it by everything that happened this summer and added more time here to become frustrated. I said a lot of "why me?"s in tonights edition of crying mess though, so let me tell you "why me."

It is me because I worked incredibly hard to get here. It is me because instead of wallowing in the pain I felt this summer I tried to deal with it like an adult and not choose to completely fall apart in July. It is me because I wanted this more then anything, and sacrificed everything at home to get it. Why me? Because I am going to come out of this knowing that I had an experience of a lifetime and that everything else will work itself out. There is nothing that can be fixed by crying, every challenge leads to the eventual celebration that I made it through.

That was my peptalk to myself.

In other news, I am afraid Charlie (my spider that I am completely petrified of and kinda let just have my room the past week but who I have become quite familiar with) has passed on to spider heaven. And of course by "am afraid" I mean "hope that finally" and now a nice brave boy from my hall can come clean him up. I will never complain about those wimpy California spiders ever again.

EDIT: CHARLIE IS VERY VERY MUCH ALIVE AND MAKING A WEB ON MY LIGHT. I am not okay with this.